We live here now.

 . . . Harder still to make noise.” ~ Page/Robertson

My new favourite lyrics.  Forgive me for saying too much or too little as I challenge myself to live up to them.  It’s a delicate balance.

There was a great post on Treehugger recently that I’ve bookmarked for more serious contemplation.

Although they may be neither popular, nor well known, there are alternatives to the two major housing options of “buy” vs. “rent.”  It seems like every day I personally vacillate between wanting to live in a Parisian apartment overlooking local markets and wanting to live on a lakefront, almost cottage-y property.  In the first case, we’d walk everywhere we needed to go and in the second case we’d generate our own electricity and grow some of our own food.  I just can’t decide whether I want to live with people or get the heck away from them.

We’ll likely be where we are for some time to come, but Dauphin was always a calculated, strategic move.  So far it has pretty much worked according to plan.  We’re closing on houses #8 and #9 on August 1, and our rental income will provide more than we need to live comfortably there.  And for the total cost of all 9 houses we’ve purchased, we still would have been only able to buy the most entry-level of entry-level homes in Toronto. (And, that would be with us paying for the privilege of ownership, not being paid enough that we don’t have to work!)

As I said to Joe last night, although yes, we can consider ourselves “retired” from traditional careers, our “job” right now is to figure out where we really want to live next and how we will be able to afford it.  It’s not as easy as you might think, and you really do need to be semi-retired before you can tackle that task; you can’t know what you really want out of living when don’t yet have the freedom to just “live.”

If I were still tutoring, I would be too busy and preoccupied to really think about what I wanted out of a house, community or local environment.  How was I to know, for example, that I really don’t mind “cooking*” when my previous life was arranged in such a way that preparing food was nothing but a huge inconvenience?  When I had taken probably less than a dozen baths in my whole adult life (and had never seen Joe take a single one!), how was I to know that we would treasure our jacuzzi tub?  There is a lot you discover about yourself when you stop “working” and start doing what might be work for some, but is really just an activity for you.

That’s why I don’t think of it as a “failure” that Dauphin won’t be the place we live for the next 30 years.  Rather, moving somewhere that is decidedly not our retirement paradise was the smartest thing we ever did:

• We had no illusions or unrealistic expectations of the perfect life.  (It was a stop along the way - another phase of the plan.)
• We chose to move solely based on finances (including of course our required amenities and necessities) so there is less of an emotional attachment to where we live.  (Leaving Toronto was emotionally so much tougher than leaving Dauphin will ever be.)
• We put ourselves in the best position to figure out what we really wanted, and didn’t assume we already knew what that was. (How could “Rat Race Rainsbergers” even pretend to know what “Retired Rainsbergers” want or need out of life?)
• Although it wasn’t part of the original plan, travel is such a huge part of our lives that we can somewhat experience and compare locations.  Two weeks ago we were in Ireland and I’m writing this now from Malvern, PA. In August and September alone we’re projected to be in Dauphin, Winnipeg, Toronto, Oshawa, “the cottage,” Brampton, Niagara Falls (ON and NY), Chicago, Turkey, the Netherlands and Costa Rica. If we can’t find something we like, it sure isn’t from a lack of trying!

And, if home ownership in Dauphin means we get to travel like this, then maybe there’s even something to be said for not doing too much of your “living” where you live!

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* - I still hate “cooking” and will refuse to prepare anything that involves the actual cooking of meat. And, much fewer of our meals are actually “cooked” now since we’ve been eating a lot raw. So, I use the word cooking to mean “making meals.” But, what I have discovered is that I like the act of chopping vegetables, I don’t mind boiling things into a soup and as long as Joe’s not sick of honey-mustard, I’m quite happy to make our own salad dressing.

Free Money Finance posted the 10 most hated money-saving tips according to the comments he’s received over the years, writing over 700 tips.

These aren’t necessarily earth-shatteringly new strategies, but that’s not the point of this list. The point is, these are the common-sense tips to which people claim to be decidedly immune. Do check out the list for yourself, but noteworthy for us is that sitting in the number one hated money-saving tip:

1. Move to a lower cost-of-living city

You can’t say we didn’t invite y’all. That you refuse to take us up on it only leaves more houses for us. (Closing on #6 and #7 currently, by the way.)

Most people know that I’m very proud to be an INTJ, so much so that perhaps sometimes it’s tempting to live up to the stereotype than to just be myself. But, what’s not to love about this personality type when you can find cool stuff like this written about you?

They are the supreme pragmatists, who see reality as something which is quite arbitrary and made up. Thus, it can be used as a tool — or ignored. Reality is quite malleable and can be changed, conquered, or brought to heel. An INTJ sees reality as the pawn of ideas: no idea is too far-fetched to be entertained. INTJs are natural brain-stormers, always open to new concepts and, in fact, aggressively seeking them.

That’s probably why I was drawn to a particular blog title today called Are You Willing to be Free? It was one of those “you create your own reality” posts, but what I liked was that rather than being peppy and overly motivational, it expressed an idea that I believe is true but most people don’t want to face. Richard Cockrum writes:

Your life is an expression of who you are. It is a stage you have set with those around you.

I love this description. He writes that when we think of defining our life, we do so through what we see (or tell ourselves) in the mirror, or through the dreams and goals we write in our journals. But really, each one of us has created a certain life and it’s evidenced by looking around you every bit as much as looking inside you. So, personal change doesn’t come from changing your internal dialogue alone; you must change what’s around you. I’m not saying this is easy, but it’s not as hard as you think.

I first encountered this idea at a Fast Track to Cash Flow seminar. Many of you know that Joe and I read a lot of personal finance books, especially those that advocate concepts such as “time is the currency of life” and “passive income.” I think we’ve gotten pretty much all we can out of the FTCF organization, but when we did attend a two-day seminar a couple of years ago, one of the speakers conducted an exercise to make you more aware of the external forces at play in your (financial) life. So, try this simple activity: make a list of the 10 people you spend the most time with. This can be face-to-face time, phone time . . . the point is really to figure out who most of your time is spent with. The second part of the exercise can actually be amended for a variety of purposes. Because we were in a financial seminar, we were looking at the financial aspect of our influences. So, for each of those people, estimate their annual salaries and write them down beside their names. Ballpark figures are fine. Bottom line is, the numbers that you see there give you the very likely range to which you’re restricting yourself.

Is there anything wrong with people who don’t make much money? Maybe they’ve chosen a simpler lifestyle or are really good at doing more with less. Maybe they have other priorities that do align nicely with your own values, and that’s why they’re in your life. But, it’s undeniable that these are the people who influence you on a daily basis. If you have a question, you’re going to ask someone in your circle for their advice. If you have a discussion, you’re going to hear their opinions. You’re going to see them live out their particular lifestyle, which is to a large extent a byproduct of their choices. If you’re looking to change your own financial situation, you have to change the larger influences in your life in order to reap the benefits of role models and seeing how the other half lives.

I’ve also seen this exercise used to measure plain old happiness in life. So, beside each person on your list, give them a score (out of 5 or 10 or 18 if you like; doesn’t matter) as to how “happy” you perceive them to be. Whether or not you’re actually correct doesn’t matter so much, because remember, it’s about the influence they are on you. So, if you perceive them to be happy, as far as you’re concerned, you’re seeing a model of happiness. Look at your list of scores. If you’re surrounding yourself with a bunch of 2’s and 3’s, how could you not be depressed yourself!

It seems cruel to think of people as liabilities. We have no problem saying, “If you want to lose weight, don’t keep crappy food in the house.” But, at some point, we also have to loose the human baggage that weighs us down, too. This can be the friend who lives well beyond his means (subtly sending you the message that you can do it too, or at least causing you to spend way too much when you go out with him) or the person who turns every little thing into a drama and sucks you into a vortex of stress and anxiety.

Now, before all our friends and family start to think that this move was just to get away from them and their toxic influences, let me point out that changing the stage on which your life is played out is also about changing the scenery. For example, we wanted to become more environmentally-conscious and active, but it was damn hard to do that living like mole people in a basement without windows! Yesterday it rained here. . . about 4 times, often for no more than 5 minutes at a time. In Toronto, we had very little concept of weather. Weather was reduced to a number or two (the high and the low, when we were really in tune with nature) and it was something that someone else told us. (And, since the basement was always cold, the temperature outside was often meaningless anyway.) We’ve been pretty freaked out by how quickly and frequently the weather can change here! We’re so much more aware of our environment here, whereas in Toronto we could easily miss entire thunderstorms if we were in the basement.

We also changed the inside environment of our home. Instead of cold tile throughout (that’s supposed to be bad for you in bare feet, but I can’t remember why) we have the lovely cork floor. There’s still a lot of construction dust and debris so I only feel comfortable walking bare foot on certain parts of the floor, but I have to say, this floor just feels so good on your feet. Joe dropped a dish and instead of a harsh, shrill clang, there was a gentle thud against the cork — wonderful for my high strung nerves! We even painted the bedroom, the first time we have ever painted a place we’ve lived in, and the escape from greyish-white feels amazing.

Sure we could have painted in Toronto. If we’d really cared, we could have changed the floor. But, we didn’t own the place. We could have bought a place in Toronto or a little outside the GTA instead of Dauphin, but then we’d be slaves to a mortgage and I wouldn’t be sitting in my pyjamas at noon writing about my floors; I’d have to be working to pay for them. Not the reality I wanted for myself.

The bottom line is, we do create our own reality. So, if you’re unhappy with your life, you can change it. But, for serious results, you need to think about all the things around you that you have the power to change and the things that you might need to change in order to see a real difference. As Einstein said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” We may not have created the perfect reality for us yet, but no one can say we’re not trying!